So today the calendar tells me that it is the 14th October, and as the spirited beauty of summer gently blows it’s way into autumn, there is a sensation of familiar delight in the air. Even when I was growing up, I was always most sprightly at this time of the year. I often wonder if there’s something wrong with me. Shouldn’t I be at my happiest when the sun is shining brightly, BBQ’s are simply inevitable and wearing preppy outfits is totally acceptable? Regardless of what is considered normal (I am a firm believer in embracing ones weirdness), I just find something so special, so magical about this particular time of the year. I love dark mornings and dark nights. I love the crisp, fresh air on a wintry morning. I love the mystery of Halloween, the delight of Bonfire Night. The thick, mystical fog the next morning. The impending spirit of Christmas. The promise of the new year. The importance of wrapping up in your favourite snug-yet-chic hat and scarf combination. This time of the year is the closest thing to magic. Aside from love, of course.
My younger sister recently asked me in her totally bewildered innocence, “how do you describe true love?”. At that very moment, I realised that true love simply cannot be defined. Of course you feel happy, you feel completely and utterly wonderful about absolutely everything. You all of a sudden feel safe within yourself and content with every aspect of your life. You feel, somehow, relieved to have found somebody to care for, who will care for you unconditionally in return. You develop confidence; you feel you could declare your joy from the tip of the highest mountain and not blush, not even just a little bit. You turn into a dreamy, satisfied, blessed, blithe, radiant, fortunate and elated mess of emotions. But true love runs far deeper than passionately-thought-out adjectives. These mere words cannot even begin to justify something as powerful and as profound as love. Love changes your entire world forever.
Whilst desperately trying to find a way to describe romantic love to my incredibly impressionable thirteen year old sister, a thought occurred to me. We so easily throw around ‘hate’, yet have so much difficulty expressing our love for a person. Until I met Michael, I had never before experienced love. Of course I loved my family, my pets, my most cherished friends; but never had I experienced the magic of romantic love. I found it so hard to tell Michael I loved him, even though I knew in my heart that I most certainly did. I was so scared that perhaps I was in love at just fifteen years old. Looking back, I was still a baby at fifteen. I had so much to learn about the world in which I lived. I wasn’t legally allowed to drink alcohol or vote. I was two years behind the legal driving age. I wasn’t tall enough to join my friends on some of the bigger rides at theme parks…how humiliating. And yet, I knew with every thread of my being that I was in love. I suddenly transformed from a girl whose only release from her tough high school years was to write in her journal and audition for shows, into a girl confident about her body, her looks, abilities and even her flaws. A girl who never stopped laughing.
I finally found the words to describe the concept of true love to Sophie, as she sat staring at me, swinging her legs off the edge of my bed in that cute-little-girl kind of way. I explained to her that love is what makes us better people. It can be so easy for us to become bitter, to become contaminated with the ugliness of the world. Reading stories of murder and war and poverty can manipulate our perception. We become angry and upset, we lose faith, we lose trust. We no longer know what or who to believe in. When we find love, we rediscover our faith. We suddenly inhabit a restored faith in the world, and we find new faith in ourselves. We believe that everything will be okay in the end. We believe there is hope and beauty in the world.
The ugliness of the world dissipates as love grows. Love isn’t about saying I love you. Love is about having the ability to say anything at all and yet still knowing you’ve expressed your love.
Mind your step. Have a lovely day. How are you feeling? I thought you might like this song. Would you like a cup of tea? Here, let me. You make me smile. Thank you. Would you like some help? Are you happy? I made you lunch.
Love truly does make the world a much happier place. Love has the potential to overcome all sadness. To banish all wickedness. Love is magic. Love is everything that is good in the world. There is no better time for kindness than the turn of the seasons at the most magical time of the year. So, if you see somebody looking downhearted, compliment them. Tell them you like their shoes, or how they’ve styled their hair. Share your chocolate bar with them. Tell them a rubbish joke. Because you never know; that moment of love and kindness may be the very moment that restores the faith they have lost.
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